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Single Adult Resources

Myths of Singleness

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 - 3:01 PM CST

Single adults are lonely - It is true that some single adults are lonely, but it certainly does not take being single to be lonely. The loneliest person in your hometown is not a single adult, but a married adult who is in a terrible marriage!

Single adults want to get married - Some single adults do want to marry, as would married adults if they were single! I would rather they look in a church with a ministry to single adults, however, than in the world. Chances of finding a dedicated Christian are usually higher!

Single men are irresponsible - Some are; then again, some married men are also! It does not take being single to be irresponsible. Just talk to the wives of some of the married men in your city.

Single adults are sexually frustrated - Some adults who are single again due to death of a spouse or death of a marriage are now learning to live a celibate life. The statement is true. We are all only one heartbeat away from singleness! What is the Church doing to help these people adjust?

Single adults have fewer problems than married adults - Not really! Just different problems. Singleness and marriage both have their sets of problems. The single adult does not have a partner to share them with, though.

Single adults must be afraid of making a commitment - This is an ignorant, general attitude with the intention of explaining why many people have not married yet. It is basically untrue. Many single adults are wise to wait to marry after seeing the marriage difficulties their friends are experiencing.

Single adults have more time than married adults - Again, untrue! Single adults have to cook the meals, clean the house, pay the bills, shop for groceries, repair the car, make the doctor and dentist appointments, take care of children (single parents), etc. with no spouse to help them!

Single adults are a threat to married adults - Some insecure married adults believe this. It is almost always unjustified! It is usually the married adult which feels this, and as a result, alienates the single adult. There are plenty of single adults in this country (82 million to be exact) to discover without looking at married adults!

Single adults are not complete until they are married - Because of the emphasis on “marriage and family” in most evangelical churches, single adults may feel like a “half person” at times! Phrases such as, “I want you to meet my better half,” and questions and attitudes like, “Why isn't an attractive woman like you married yet?” do little to help a single adult feel complete. The truth is, “We are complete in Him!” (Colossians 2:10)

Single adults have more money than married adults - There are a few single adults who make good money and may have more than married adults. Generally it is untrue, though! Young single adults are not into their income producing years yet; divorced single women almost always take a huge cut in their income; 60% of single-parent females make less than the poverty level; most widowed adults live on a low, fixed income.

Authors: Dennis Franck

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