By Warren D. Bullock
What are acceptable pastoral practices, and when have we crossed an ethical line?
Ministerial ethics is not an oxymoron. Notwithstanding ethical failures among ministers, ethics and ministry should be synonymous; in fact, they must be.
Yet, we cannot ignore the failures. During my years as a district superintendent it was my sad responsibility to confront peers in the ministry concerning the following behaviors:
To sum up this litany of offenses, the salient word we are looking for is sin. We may describe the above behaviors as moral lapses, moments of weakness, or errors in judgment, all of which may be part of the truth. But at the core of these euphemisms is sin, and sin never bears good fruit. It wounds people, destroys relationships, creates mistrust, ruins reputations, nurtures cynicism toward ministers, and divides families and churches. Sin is always destructive.
But for every failure in the ministry, scores of ministers have not fallen prey to temptation. Out of 32,556 Assemblies of God ministers in 2002, only .48 percent were dismissed, and another .20 percent were undergoing rehabilitation.1 More than 99 percent of our ministers, while not perfect, are endeavoring to walk in integrity.
What is our ethical relationship to our congregations? What are acceptable pastoral practices, and when have we crossed an ethical line? When our overriding goal is to please God, what types of actions must we avoid? When the Scripture is not totally clear as to what is right or wrong, how do we know what to do? These and other questions are unavoidable, but a clear understanding of what we mean by ethics and integrity can help us.
What is meant by the term ministerial ethics? Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary defines ethics in part as “the discipline dealing with what is good and bad and with moral duty and obligation; a set of moral principles or values; the principles of conduct governing an individual or a group.”2 The minister’s moral principles and values are derived from the Word of God. Ethics are not situational. Scripture governs them.
Merriam-Webster’s definition of integrity is: “Firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values; an unimpaired condition; the quality or state of being complete or undivided.”3 Integrity is the application of ethics in daily life. It results in personal wholeness that disallows any division between what is said and what is done. It enables us to walk the talk, to practice what we preach, to live consistently in every area of life.
Author Howard Hendricks provides a classic definition: “Integrity is long obedience in the same direction.”4 Integrity is long because it is not attained overnight. It takes a lifetime to develop a godly reputation. Obedience is essential because violation of a moral code destroys integrity. Long obedience must always be “in the same direction” because integrity keeps the moral compass pointed toward God and heaven.
Paul reminded Timothy “the overseer must be above reproach. … He must also have a good reputation with outsiders” (1 Timothy 3:2,7). Interestingly, these two characteristics — above reproach and good reputation — are the first and last of those qualities Paul deems as mandatory for the church leader.
If the leadership gurus of our day are correct in saying that leadership is influence, then what is inherent in leadership that creates influence? One answer is example. Pastors are in the public eye. We can see that as negative — “I do not like living in a fishbowl.” Or we can view it positively — “Somebody’s watching. I can show them how to live for Christ.” Whether we have a positive or negative attitude about the high visibility of our position, the public pastoral role provides opportunity for major influence in the lives of our congregants and in our communities.
Paul told the Corinthian church, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). When a pastor says that, he is then burdened to live as Christ would live. Even if the pastor never echoes Paul’s words, people will still follow his leadership, particularly as to character. Who we are is more powerful than what we do, and yet what we do reveals who we are.
Honesty
Talking is our trade. You cannot be a preacher without words. And the essence of being ethical in communication is to tell the truth. Do what you say you will do. Do not make promises you cannot keep. If the message on your answering machine says, “I will call you right back,” then do it. If you promise, “I will be praying for you,” then be sure that you follow through. Lapses in areas that we deem trifling create a lack of trust that can impact people’s desire to follow us in greater matters.
Confidentiality
Our personal ethics demand we not say certain things. Maintaining confidentiality is critical in some sensitive situations. However, we may need to let those involved know the limits of our confidentiality. When someone asks me, “I want you to promise me that you will never tell anyone,” I qualify my response by indicating that I cannot make that promise until I know what he or she is going to say. If the person reports a crime, threatens suicide, or provides information about the molestation of a child, I cannot keep that confidential. When I was a district superintendent, I could not keep a ministerial confession about infidelity confidential. We want to keep confidences. But those with whom we are dealing need to know in advance the parameters of our confidentiality.
Ministers must guard against the compulsion to tell their spouses everything. First, emotionally shielding our spouses is our responsibility. Our mates are better off not knowing about certain issues. Second, confidentiality between the minister and the person sharing the confidence does not include the spouse. Saying anything to our mates is off-limits in those cases. We do not want to curtail intimate communication between husband and wife, but sometimes our best communication is no communication.
Preaching
A minister’s primary form of public communication is preaching, which must also conform to ethical standards.
One of our district camps scheduled two speakers, one for the first half of the camp, the other for the last half. In one of his sermons the first speaker used an illustration, which he told in the first person as if it were his own experience. The second speaker later preached exactly the same sermon, using the same illustration, using the first person as if it had happened to him.
The speakers were unethical on two counts. First, they plagiarized their sermon, using another preacher’s materials without acknowledging it. Second, they were dishonest in purporting to have had an experience that in fact happened to someone else. Needless to say the credibility of those two preachers was null and void.
Rare is the preacher who does not utilize or benefit from the study and expertise of someone else. Most of us are not so original that we do not need to dip into other sources for material. But credit should be given, even when we may have reworked the material to match our own preaching style. Some sources, such as lexicons and Bible dictionaries, are specifically provided for resource material with the understanding they will be used in, or as background for, messages we deliver.
Staying true to the text and the context may not seem like an issue of integrity, but it is. We are untrue to the Word and the Holy Spirit who inspired it, when we make the text say what we want it to rather than proclaim its obvious meaning.
When we fail
“If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man” (James 3:2). If we fail to keep our word, even for good reasons, we need to try to make it right with the person with whom we had an agreement. I have forgotten appointments I had made. At the first opportunity, I have offered my apologies and sought to rectify my error. In most cases, people were forgiving, knowing that my word is usually better than my memory. If my failure is sin, then my confession needs to be to our forgiving Lord.
Power
Each position holds some level of power. The President of the United States is called the most powerful man in the world, not because of the man, but because of the position. But a father in his home holds more power over his family than the President does.
The power or authority of the pastoral position derives from many sources. The:
These elements and more provide positional power. So the question is not whether the pastor has power, but how he will use it.
Manipulation
Manipulation of people for our own ends is unethical. One of my friends said, “The only time my pastor phones me is when he wants something done. He does not care about me. He only cares about what I can do for him and the church.” If we fail to develop relationships for the sake of building one another up, we may be susceptible to developing them to get what we want.
After traveling to hundreds of churches over the past several years, my observation has been that a few pastors love their vision more than they love their people. People are seen only as building blocks in fulfilling their vision. This is not to discount the importance of pastoral vision; it is to emphasize that our primary task is not to build churches, but to build people. Any vision that does not include people, especially hurting people, is not God’s vision.
Finances
Most ministers at some point have done their work at great financial sacrifice. The temptation, both to those who are now doing well and those who still are not, is to use the power of our position to provide perks, justify extravagance, and pad our financial future. We do a disservice to the position and the Lord who called us when ministry becomes a means to an end instead of an end in itself.
One of the greatest exercises of power is not using it. I have pastored some wonderful people who loved and trusted me so much I could have asked for anything and they would have tried to give it to me. That is why I never asked. I did not trust myself to ask. My carnal desires might soil the holy position I held. The motives of my heart might be turned to what I could get out of the position rather than what I could give to the position. Those who have exercised this kind of restraint could testify that Jehovah-Jireh has more than met their needs. We did not have to ask something of our people; we only had to ask our Provider.
Preaching
The pastoral position is seldom more powerful than when the pastor is in the pulpit. It is an awesome task to preach the gospel, and we have been honored that God has called us to such a worthy pursuit. But the power of the pulpit can be misused to achieve our own ends.
During church conflict when the pastor may be under attack, the pulpit is not the place to wage war. During conflict everything the pastor says, in or out of the pulpit, is interpreted in the context of the internal strife. Sometimes what the pastor says does not need interpretation because it is obviously a bold and aggressive attack against those who are opposing him: “But I am just preaching the Word.” Yes, but we know the Scripture well enough that we can easily select passages that play to our side of the issue and bring correction to the opposers. Such is a misuse of the Holy Word and the preaching office.
When we are being assailed from every side, and we respond by using the Word as a club instead of a sword, we are guilty of violating a key principle that Jesus set forth: “Whoever wants to save his life will lose it” (Mark 8:35). To preserve ourselves by using the power of our position, we effectively ensure that we will ultimately lose, not only our power, but often the position too. The strategy of pulpit power to win church wars rarely succeeds.
We can free ourselves of anxieties about using preaching as a weapon if we will preach Christ. When the apostles were under duress, arrested, in jail, or on trial, their defense was to preach Jesus. We are wise to follow their examples.
King Uzziah is linked three times in Scripture to positional power. Second Chronicles traces a sequencing of power as Uzziah moved through his years as king.
• “He had become very powerful” (2 Chronicles 26:8).
• “Until he became powerful” (2 Chronicles 26:15).
• “After Uzziah became powerful” (2 Chronicles 26:16).
At each of these points in Uzziah’s reign, power had either good or bad consequences. At the end Uzziah went into the temple to offer incense, usurping the role of the priests. Extending his power into areas for which he was not called or anointed did not seem wrong to him. In fact he went into a rage when the priests confronted him. His misuse of power left him in the leper’s house.
Wise and judicious use of positional power will result in building both the work of God in others and in us.
Hiring Pastoral Staff
Few decisions are more important for the pastor than selecting those who will become part of his team. It is as difficult as it is important. Making the wrong decision can have far-reaching consequences. At what point do ethical issues cross the hiring process? We will highlight two of these intersections.
The prospective staff member. Honesty mandates that we will not tout the position and its importance for more than it really is. We will not make assurances about salary and benefits that we cannot fulfill or blame the church board for their lack of fulfillment. We will maintain confidentiality up to the parameters mutually agreed on. If other candidates are also being considered, we will acknowledge that fact without identifying who they are. We will not use bait-and-switch tactics, changing the job description after the new staff member arrives.
The prospective staff member’s senior pastor. Recruiting staff gets stickier when the candidate holds a position in another church. The key question that has to be answered is, “At what point do I or the candidate inform the senior pastor that exploratory talks are taking place about a position on my staff?”
Some staff members are reluctant to inform the senior pastor, especially before substantive conversations, because past history with former staff indicates that such information has not been well-received by the pastor. Some interpret any investigation into other positions as a sign of disloyalty to them personally and to the church. Some have fired their associates on the spot upon learning they were exploring other staff possibilities.
So how do you ethically continue to pursue hiring options without jeopardizing the staff member’s position? This should be one of the first questions you and the candidate ask and answer. You must come to an agreement on the point at which the senior pastor will be informed. If no agreement can be made with which you are ethically comfortable, then you need to scratch that candidate from your prospect list and move on.
My personal procedure has been as follows: I call the candidate to determine if he is interested in the position we have open. If not, I accept that as God’s will made known. If there is interest, my next call will be to the senior pastor. If he asks me not to pursue the minister on his staff, I will comply. Most pastors recognize the extended probing process that is necessary to staff selection. They would not want a staff member to stay if God is directing that person elsewhere.
In some cases, the staff member asks to be the one to first inform the pastor. Once that is done, I then call the senior pastor and explain our desire to continue talks with the staff pastor. Maintaining a positive and healthy relationship with that pastor is one of my goals.
Finances
How church finances are handled will either damage or enhance the reputation of the church and the pastor.
Here are some guidelines:
When Peter was at Cornelius’ home, he concluded, “God does not show favoritism” (Acts 10:34). This realization was in the context of God’s acceptance of the Gentiles as well as the Jews. The pastor should also endeavor to deal with people without showing favoritism. This does not mean you have the same relationship with everyone in your congregation. But it does mean that you treat everyone with the same dignity, respect, and service that God does with us.
Former parishioners
Love for our congregation does not die when we move to a new assignment, but our relationship with it changes. The members of our former post are no longer our spiritual responsibility. So what is our ethical obligation if members of our previous church call us for counsel or ask us to do weddings or funerals? My decision is centered on the core ethical issue of doing nothing that would adversely affect the leadership of my successor or the health of the church.
Some pastors draw a sharp, clear line by refusing without exception to be involved in any way with former members. Personally, I have not drawn the line quite that sharply. But much depends on how secure the successor is, and whether he feels threatened by your coming back. Sensitivity to each situation may result in different responses in each case. Nevertheless the day will come when you can no longer be connected in ministry to your former congregation, and that day should be sooner rather than later.
Present parishioners
In the early years of my ministry I was taught that a pastor should never make friends with members of the congregation. I now view that as bad advice. You will be drawn to some in your church by affinity, mutual interest, and compatible temperaments. Friendship can and should develop. But the pastor cannot violate the favoritism principle. Decisions dare not be made out of friendship, but out of what is best for the church. Time must be spent with others in the congregation, not just our friends. We are influenced by what is right, not by what is expedient.
Other ministers
What would happen if we all committed ourselves to:
If we made these covenants with ourselves, ethical concerns would not be an issue.
Our families
This is our ongoing delight — building strong relationship with members of our family. However, parents, a husband or wife, and sons and daughters are the second of life’s priorities. Our first priority is to God. The crush of ministerial duties should not keep us from nurturing these caring relationships.
The destructive nature of unfaithfulness and the wounds it creates should be an adequate bulwark against infidelity. But negative motivation is not always enough. Far better to develop such a positive, healthy relationship with my spouse, in which I love her too much to ever cause her the pain of my adultery. Infidelity is always more loss than gain.
Our God
“To have found God and still to pursue Him is the soul’s paradox of love … justified in happy experience by the children of the burning heart.”5 We have found Him, or perhaps we should say He has found us, for a relationship of intimacy. So we do not spend time with Him to ask Him to honor our endeavors, but we ask what endeavors will honor Him. Prayer does not become a means to an end — church success, powerful anointing, changed lives — though all of these are worthy requests. Prayer is an end in itself because it deepens my relationship with the Lover of my soul. My pastoral passion is not primarily directed at extending His kingdom, but in knowing the King.
Do you see the difference? All that we want and need is in Him. Everything good in my life, my family, and my ministry will flow from Him. So I seek Him. When I do, then the answers to my temporal requests are granted. I grow in my understanding of His purposes for me and develop sensitivities that can hear even the whispers of the Spirit. Such pure familiarity will provide needed direction for life’s central causes, and the ethical path, the road of righteousness, will be perfectly clear.
Warren D. Bullock, D.Min., is pastor Northwest Family Church, Auburn, Washington.
Endnotes
1. Ministerial statistics for 2002 from the General Secretary’s Office, General Council of the Assemblies of God.
2. Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary.
3. Ibid.
4. Howard Hendricks, “The Power of a Promise Kept,” A Life of Integrity: 12 Outstanding Leaders Raise the Standard for Today’s Christian Men, (Portland: Multnomah Books, 1997), 207.
5. A.W. Tozer, The Pursuit of God, (Harrisburg, Pa.: Christian Publications, Inc., 1982), 45.
From Enrichment Journal, "Tools of the Trade"
